Finding the Words
by Winged half-blood
Summary: Thalia was always going to be a Rock Star. That was never a question. She was the front man, the one that mattered. She totally didn't plan on band mates and their drama getting in her way. She certainly didn't plan on her caring. Percy/Thalia friendship, eventual Percabeth. T for Language.


**So, yeah.**

**Welcome to mah story. I hope you have more fun than usual**

**I do wish to make something VERY CLEAR. This is NOT a Percy/Thalia story.**

**EW EW EW EW.**

**They are BFFs, but that is all. There will eventually be Percabeth. I promise.  
**

**So, basically, one of those dumbass band plotlines that everyone has used four billion times, but mine is _better_. (Well, I hope.) There's tons of cursing and shit (see, there I go) so it's all rated T.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. None of them characters or the eventual songs 'cause I'm a shitty poet.**

**Yeah. Read on, bitches.**

* * *

When Thalia Grace was seven years old, she picked up a pair of drumsticks and never looked back.

She was going to be a rock star. If there was a surface to slam a beat onto, she slammed a beat onto it. She got sent to the Principal's office four times that week for unruly behavior.

But honestly, whatever. She was going to be a rock star.

At age seven and a half, Thalia's father handed her an acoustic guitar with a forced poker face and asked in a somewhat strained voice for her to stop smacking her drumsticks onto every surface of her room at three in the morning.

Thalia wasn't stupid. She knew that Eric Clapton and Carlos Santana and Slash and Jimi Hendrix and Jimmy Page didn't get where they were without strumming their guitars at every available moment they had. So that's exactly what Thalia did. She was clumsy at first; her fingers ached from where the harsh metal of the strings cut into them and they seemed too big and too small at the same time. Too big to properly move from one fret to the other but too small to really cover and press down on them completely.

Still, Thalia did everything she could. She slammed out chords until they were hardwired into her very being, and then she practiced scale after scale after scale until you just had to say A flat major and her fingers were already moving. There was one thing, however, that Thalia never did.

She never (ever, ever, ever, ever) gave up. When all the boys in her grade were trading around Yu-gi-oh and Pokemon cards and all the girls were braiding each other's hair and talking about their Tamogachi's, Thalia was off in a corner, connecting markers together so she could pretend that her fingers were moving on her frets and not a Crayola maroon marker.

In third grade, Thalia got her mom to take her to cut off most of her hair in a sort of choppy bob. Her dad had a fit when he came to pick her up from her mom's house. Thalia hopped into the backseat of her dad's car and said hi to the stoic bodyguard driving and pretended not to hear her parents yelling at each other.

_"She's my daughter too, you know!"_

_"I have custody! You can't just make a decision like this without consulting me!"_

_"I didn't do anything! It was her choice!"_

_"She's_ nine_! You can't just let her have anything she wants! Do you want her to grow up expecting to get every little thing she asks for?"_

_"Right, because _I'm_ the parent that would spoil her."_

_"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"_

_"You pick her up every day in an SUV that has tinted windows and a driver! You never go anywhere without two bodyguards, and you can get lost in your house going to the bathroom!"_

_"At least I'm not a druggie."_

_"...I think it's time for you to leave."_

_"Fine. I'd suggest contacting your lawyer."_

Thalia looked down at her lap as her father got in the car and tried to ignore the pitying look the bodyguard sent her from the rear view mirror. She didn't see her mom too often after that day.

By the time Thalia was ten years old, she freaking _knew_ that she could take on the whole world because she was badass and totally awesome. She knew where she stood with every single person in her grade. Some she would occasionally tolerate. The others were too scared of her to talk to her, but whatever. She didn't need them.

Her name was Thalia (yeah, she's named after a freakin' Greek muse) and she was a badass, and if they didn't want to be her friend it was their loss anyway.

So, yeah, maybe Thalia didn't really have friends for a while, but she didn't even _care_, okay? She was just fine on her own, and she had her guitar.

When Thalia walked into her first day of fourth grade, she was _not_ expecting a scrawny kid with crazy black hair flying in every direction and a tooth missing in the very front of his mouth to run up to her and practically scream, "Pirates or Ninjas?"

Um, Thalia wasn't an idiot. Her response came to her as easily as music. "Ninjas, duh. I'm not stupid."

The boy didn't agree. "Nu-uh! Pirates are totally coolerest."

Thalia looked at him scornfully. "That's not a word."

The boy frowned, glaring a little. 'Says who?"

Sticking her nose into the air, Thalia said, "Says me, and I'm _always_ right."

He crossed his scrawny, Band-Aid ridden arms over his chest and said, "I don't believe you."

Thalia shrugged her shoulders and said, "Your name's Perseus and you like the Rolling Stones, but like, who doesn't, so that wasn't even that_ hard_."

Perseus's eyes were wide as he took Thalia in, black Jimi Hendrix shirt, ripped jeans, beat up converse and all. Looking her straight in the eye, he only said, "I want you to sit by _me_."

That was how Thalia made her first friend. She never does tell him that he was wearing a nametag and Rolling Stones t-shirt, but whatever. It feels kind of awesome to have someone look at you like you're basically the coolest thing since Nirvana.

Anyway, that was how she met Perseus Jackson. He was kind of an idiot sometimes, but it was sort of strangely endearing (Thalia learned that word that week in school. She was kind of the smartest kid ever). He was a pretty awesome partner in crime and only hesitated for a second when she told him that they were totally going to tipi her dad's room. He even had the once in a lifetime brilliant idea to come up with totally top-secret code names. Whenever they were alone, they were no longer 'Perseus' and 'Thalia'. They were 'Shark' and 'Eagle'. Perseus kind of wanted to be Eagle but, like, there was no way Thalia was going to let him have that. Yeah, they were best friends, but Thalia was totally the cool one.

Halfway through fifth grade, when Perseus was eleven but Thalia was twelve, she took pity on him. They were over at her house after school because they never went to Perseus's house and Thalia never really asked why (she wasn't scared, okay? It just never came up) she caught him looking longingly at her drum set. He'd seen her mess around on her guitar a couple times, and he had clapped enthusiastically, but his eyes always gravitated towards the dusty drum kit. Then, out of nowhere, Thalia had the best idea ever. She was pretty sure that she was going to win, like, 'Best Friend Ever' award or something, because this was the best idea.

For Perseus's next birthday, Thalia gave him a drum kit. He couldn't take it home, because his mom said there wasn't room, but he kept it in Thalia's basement and the two of them spent years coming to her house after school and practicing until their heads were pounding and their arms were aching.

It was totally worth it. Perseus' beat is something he was born with, not something that could be learned. He could never stop tapping his foot or drumming his fingers.

Once, in the summer between seventh and eighth grade, when Thalia looks over from where she's taking a water break and finds him slamming out a drum solo that she swore she could feel in her very bones, she can't help but think that her best friend is sort of idiot, what with his arms flailing everywhere, but he does fit the whole 'rock star' thing.

(She dumps the rest of the water on his head.

What? He was totally sweaty and gross.

Don't judge her, it's just how they work.)

In eighth grade, Thalia makes Perseus join chorus with her. It's sort of stupid, to be honest, but he can't sing to save his life and sort of really needs the pointers.

That's how Thalia met Will Solace. He was probably the one of the only guys whose voice has dropped, so their teacher had to coach him through his part individually. It was super obvious that he was embarrassed with singing in front of everyone, but he still had a total rocker voice. She could tell, even though it wavered a bit with nerves.

The next week, Thalia yanked Will into the girl's bathroom.

"What the fuck, Grace?" He whispered, glancing around.

Whatever. He'd get over it.

She totally knew that he knew who she was.

But, like, who didn't?

"Do you play an instrument?" Thalia asked as she crossed her eyes and glared at him.

"What? Look, can I leave-"

"Dude, do you play an instrument or not?" She really hoped that he would say yes, because if he didn't she was never going to live this down. She did not trust Will to keep this quiet, and Perseus would totally mock her forever.

But, Thalia was damn professional, so Will said, "My dad taught me guitar. Why does this matter, again?"

Thalia kind of wanted to fist bump the invisible Mario-mystery-box-thing above her head, but she totally kept her cool and said, "Band. You, me, few others. Yes or no."

He said yes, because he wasn't a complete idiot like Perseus (thank god, she didn't think she could handle another one), and Thalia was one step closer to being a goddamn rock star.

* * *

Will fit in a lot better than Thalia thought he would.

It hurt a little, to be honest.

(Whatever, it's kind of stupid. It was just sort of nice being the only real friend that Perseus had.

Yeah, it was dumb, okay?

Shut the hell up.)

Will was super cool and totally what their band needed. (Well, besides a name.) He was funny, and pretty good at the guitar, and an awesome writer, and he did have a strange obsession with tight pants and hair gel, but what_ever_. You sacrifice the little things for your dreams.

(Like, for example, Perseus's complete refusal to brush his hair. That shit's nasty.)

They weren't anywhere near where they needed to be to actually be, y'know, a band, but they were getting close. So close she could almost taste it. They practiced covers of older and newer rock songs in Thalia's basement until her and Will's fingers were bleeding and Perseus had snapped two pairs of drumsticks and some bodyguard had to come down and tell them in fancy words to shut the fuck up.

Things get weird over the summer between eighth and ninth grade. Perseus went off to camp for two months, but the day before he left he came over to her house. She didn't think much of it, but he hugged her weirdly tight and whispered _goodbye_ like they were some shitty dramatic teen movie, and she could've sworn she saw him wipe away a tear when he got into the SUV that was driving him home. When he came back he was about a foot taller and his voice was way deeper. He was weirdly quiet and his smiles never quite reached his eyes anymore.

All of a sudden, a week after he got back he started to yell at her. She had just asked him to pass her some fucking water.

"What the hell, P-"

"_Don't call me that_!" He screamed. His face was red and his eyes were darting around and his fingers were twitching like crazy against his thigh.

"What, your name?" She said back with her arms crossed.

"Just call me Percy, okay?"

Will met her eyes over his shoulder and mouthed,_ just go with it_. She was _totally_ going to get an explanation for this bullshit.

Thalia never_ really_ got the details about what happened, but Will finds out and tells her. Perse-_Percy_ was god knows where, and Will came over to her house to explain. They were sitting alone in her room, but the whole conversation happened in whispers anyway. From what Will managed to piece together, Percy finally met his father.

"Whoa, wait." Thalia interrupted. "He didn't know his father?"

Will shot her an incredulous look and nodded. "Didn't you know? He's lived with his mom in a crappy apartment for his whole life. His dad sends checks and shit to put him through school every year, but that's all he's ever heard of him."

Thalia felt like a fucking idiot. Shit, did she ever know her best friend at all?

(She realized, maybe, _he'd_ been_ her_ best friend, but _she_ hadn't been_ his_.)

"Anyway," Will continued, "he's only mentioned bits and pieces, but I'm pretty sure his dad's some billionaire that's married and has a wife and kid and has basically been bribing his mom to not say anything about it."

Well, fuck. "Why now?" She asked.

Will shrugged. "Who knows? I hope something isn't wrong with his mom or anything."

"But why's he all defensive about his damn _name_?"

"His dad probably mentioned something that ticked him off."

"Yeah," She muttered. "Yeah, maybe."

She's fucking pissed Perse-_Percy_ for talking to him and not her, but she sort of gets it once it's explained and everything.

Actually, fuck that. She totally gets it. She can sort of relate. She honestly hasn't seen her mom in four years, but that really isn't the same.

(Looking back on it, she fucking wished she'd knocked on piece of fucking wood or some shit like that.)

She gave Percy his space because she figured he'd want it and she didn't know what in hell she was supposed to say. Like, there aren't movies on this type of this shit. She seriously doubted Yahoo Answers would be her saving grace, either.

Everything was sort of normal for about a month into ninth grade. They live in the suburbs of A Little to the Left of Nowhere, Indiana, so there are only two high schools anywhere near them. The public one and the private one.

Guess which one Thalia, Will, and Percy went to?

Anyway, things were sort of normal, but mostly weird because a lot of the time Percy would just go home, and when he did show up he was almost silent and only ever half heartily clunked a beat into his set.

Halfway through October, Percy stopped coming to school.

He just didn't show up for _two weeks_. He didn't answer any calls. Thalia and Will got really, really worried (more than either would ever admit). It got to a point where she was so nervous that ever her dad noticed, and he called the school because he'd been trying to make it up to her for being in DC all of the time.

The school didn't have an answer.

Yeah, she kind of flipped out.

She didn't sleep at all that night. When most people say that, they mean they had difficulty sleeping and stayed up super late.

She didn't sleep at all. She stared at the ceiling of her room for hours, and all she could think about was her best friend running away to do god knows what.

She was sort of a zombie the next day at school, but Will was the only one who noticed. They both sat in the back of the room in their classes and trying not to think about-god forbid-him being-being _dead _or some messed up shit like that.

Percy was in her room when she came home from school. She didn't know if she wanted to hit him or hug him. She went with throwing a pillow at him.

"Where the _fuck_ have you been, idiot?" She screamed.

She knew something was seriously wrong when he looked up.

The nice way to put it?

He looked like shit.

His eyes were red and puffy and there were tear tracks down both of his cheeks. His eyes were normally a pretty bright green, but they looked dark and muddy. It looked like he had gotten less sleep than Thalia had. His shirt was inside out and backwards.

This felt like some shit out of somebody else's life, okay? She was _not_ qualified to deal with this.

"Perce?"

(Thalia is_ not_ a fucking crier, okay? She doesn't get the point and it makes her feel nasty and her nose run. She hates crying. She can't stand it. She hates the way your throat hurts and it feels like you're drowning in your own mucus and-

Fuck. She's totally going to cry.)

He took a deep breath, and his whole body shuddered when he released it. His jaw was clenched and he was looking anywhere but in her eyes. "It's, uh-" His voice cracked, but he cleared his throat and kept going. "It's my mom."

He didn't say anything for a really long time. Seconds felt like silly putty that had been stretching into the most agonizingly long hours. Thalia had no idea what to say.

What the fuck are you supposed to say in a moment like that? Movies and bullshit stories about death and war don't prepare you for shit like that. Watching some child actor try to make himself cry in front of a camera so some producer somewhere can make a couple million dollars are really fucking different from a teenager admitting to his best friend that his mom is fucking _dying._

Movies don't prepare you for this shit.

Percy did say something, though, eventually. "I've-uh. I've known for a while. Since summer. It's some dumbass, stupidly rare bullshit type of cancer that has, like, a .00001% chance survival rate."

Thalia had no fucking idea a silent room could be louder than her slamming out a chord that blasted from her speakers at full volume. It was silent, but her ears were still ringing as though she'd been at a ACDC concert for five hours.

He started to sob. Not tears and sniffles. Ugly, heaving sobs that made his whole torso shake and had him curl involuntarily onto his side and into the fetal position on her bed.

The ringing in her ears was worse when the only noise was him crying and somebody starting to vacuum downstairs.

And Thalia?

She didn't move. She didn't rub soothing circles on his back or spout some magical healing words about how everything was going to be alright.

She leaned back against the wall and slowly sank into a sitting position like she was in some dumbass 90's boyband music video.

She just fucking sat there like a goddamn idiot.

* * *

**It gets happier, I promise.**

**Anyhoo, I hoped you liked. Share your thoughts, feelings, bullshit like that. (Not that your thoughts are bullshit. fuck, I messed that one up. Sorry.) If there's something you would really like to see happen, go ahead and drop it into that little box down there, and I'll see what I can do.**

**Be blessed in your endeavors, bitches.**


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